Funniest short jokes

So I was sitting on the bus just reading a book when somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw an old lady. She said to me, "Sonny, would you like some nuts? I've got a couple hazelnuts and almonds if you'd like." "Sure.", I replied. She gave me a handful of nuts and went...

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Many years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else...

A woman meets an elderly man in a bar. They talk. They connect. they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the...

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Little Johnny Fell In Love, so he asks his father. Son: “Daddy, I fell in […]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

A man and his wife check into a hotel The husband wants to have a […]

An old farmer died leaving his 17 horses to his 3 sons. When his sons opened up the will it read: “My eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total …

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over […]